Tuesday, February 7, 2012
today i am happy to report that i am alive and well. after surviving a fire at my apartment a few days ago. yes, that’s right a FIRE! at 2:30am. otherwise known as closing time at the irish bar across the street. about a dozen (mostly inebriated) people rushed inside to quell the flames, two of whom carried fire extinguishers. swoooooon! if only i had been wearing makeup…so it turns out screaming “fire!” at the top of my lungs while barely clothed is, in fact, a good survival method. after hugging each and every person — even those who resisted — i moved. for the umpteenth time. in the dark.
now i have found myself back at my old apartment. with no electrical wiring malfunctions (at least not yet!). experiencing deja vu in my new/old hood of montmartre. feeling so thankful for strangers and friends alike. one of whom gave up her bed for moi the morning after so i could finally go to sleep. she offered me juice, tea, wine, or whisky. guess what i chose?
now, i must return to the irish bar. and make out w/everybody as a thank you. well it’s either that or cupcakes. and this time, you best believe i will have on makeup. and shoes.
here’s to the kindness of strangers. friends. and of course, the irish. bonne nuit, bebes!
Monday, January 30, 2012
food porn, courtesy of my visit to benoit. you’re welcome.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
funny cuz it’s true…and i would know. i spent over a decade in india. otherwise known as the westside of los angeles.
perhaps it’s time to compile a “shit people say in paris” video…although it would likely just be a series of noises. oof. oopla! ooh la la! and this: bonne nuit, bebes! for it is now time for sleep. zzzzzzzzz.
Friday, January 20, 2012
city of love! city of light! and paris’ third, lesser-known moniker: city of pervs. it’s safe to say i will no longer be taking the metro. at least not the one in montmartre. where, to put it delicately, i was personally AFFRONTED by a lester molester on a stairwell a few days ago. yeah, afFRONTed. as in he grabbed my FRONT. with the speed and precision of a pickpocket, making it all the more disturbing. so there goes taking the stairs instead of the elevator, too. this easily topped the derriere squeeze of ‘11 at yet another metro station. and what i surely thought would have gone down as
the parisian perv interaction of a lifetime. but when someone puts their hands on you and not themselves, it takes it to a whole otha level. i found myself longing for the asexual germans this week. now there’s a sentence i never thought i would type! oh and i almost forgot the best part of all. when i returned to my new pied-a-terre, very shaken, my front door was ajar!!!! i considered checking into a hotel for the night, but instead, with my mom on the phone, bravely flung open the storage closet and fridge — the only two hiding places in my studio apartment. for once, i was ecstatic to find a refrigerator empty. so i live to see anotha day…and have a couple of much-needed drinks. within walking distance, bien sur. bonne nuit, bebes! and may the parisian perv go the way of the beeper. shucked from modern society once and for all!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
well i’ve managed to move on…up! buh-bye budget hotel in the 13th. bonjour saint germain! ok, now i really may never leave. tonight, i walked the rues in my new hood and combined my two loves — impromptu photo shoots and street art. thanks to a couple of strangers on the street. one who did the clickin. and the other who did the primpin. and neither of whom took off with my i-touch. thank gawd! altho they did warn me to keep a better eye on my things. if only they knew…last week, a housekeeper returned my most prized possession, my grandmother’s ring, which i inexplicably forgot in my room upon checkout. and yesterday, i found my gloves. right where i left them the night before. “you’re lucky,” said the barman. understatement of the year.
ah, the eiffel has shut off its lights for the night, so perhaps so should i. yup, i got a room with a view…i hate me, too. g’nite bebes!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
how to speak french 101.