1. Saturday, June 7, 2014

    what if money were no object…?

  2. Saturday, July 7, 2012

    what do me. katie holmes. nicole kidman. and mimi rogers all have in common?
(hint: it’s not tom cruise.)
i weigh in on katie’s jesus year here. 
merci buckets to e! online’s answer b!tch!
in otha news: it’s 100 degrees in chitown, babay. time to take a showa. again.

    what do me. katie holmes. nicole kidman. and mimi rogers all have in common?

    (hint: it’s not tom cruise.)

    i weigh in on katie’s jesus year here

    merci buckets to e! online’s answer b!tch!

    in otha news: it’s 100 degrees in chitown, babay. time to take a showa. again.

  3. Wednesday, April 4, 2012

  4. Monday, February 27, 2012

  5. Wednesday, January 25, 2012

    funny cuz it’s true…and i would know. i spent over a decade in india. otherwise known as the westside of los angeles.

    perhaps it’s time to compile a “shit people say in paris” video…although it would likely just be a series of noises. oof. oopla! ooh la la! and this: bonne nuit, bebes! for it is now time for sleep. zzzzzzzzz.

  6. Friday, January 20, 2012

    city of love! city of light! and paris’ third, lesser-known moniker: city of pervs. it’s safe to say i will no longer be taking the metro. at least not the one in montmartre. where, to put it delicately, i was personally AFFRONTED by a lester molester on a stairwell a few days ago. yeah, afFRONTed. as in he grabbed my FRONT. with the speed and precision of a pickpocket, making it all the more disturbing. so there goes taking the stairs instead of the elevator, too. this easily topped the derriere squeeze of ‘11 at yet another metro station. and what i surely thought would have gone down as the parisian perv interaction of a lifetime. but when someone puts their hands on you and not themselves, it takes it to a whole otha level. i found myself longing for the asexual germans this week. now there’s a sentence i never thought i would type! oh and i almost forgot the best part of all. when i returned to my new pied-a-terre, very shaken, my front door was ajar!!!! i considered checking into a hotel for the night, but instead, with my mom on the phone, bravely flung open the storage closet and fridge — the only two hiding places in my studio apartment. for once, i was ecstatic to find a refrigerator empty. so i live to see anotha day…and have a couple of much-needed drinks. within walking distance, bien sur. bonne nuit, bebes! and may the parisian perv go the way of the beeper. shucked from modern society once and for all!

    city of love! city of light! and paris’ third, lesser-known moniker: city of pervs. it’s safe to say i will no longer be taking the metro. at least not the one in montmartre. where, to put it delicately, i was personally AFFRONTED by a lester molester on a stairwell a few days ago. yeah, afFRONTed. as in he grabbed my FRONT. with the speed and precision of a pickpocket, making it all the more disturbing. so there goes taking the stairs instead of the elevator, too. this easily topped the derriere squeeze of ‘11 at yet another metro station. and what i surely thought would have gone down as the parisian perv interaction of a lifetimebut when someone puts their hands on you and not themselves, it takes it to a whole otha level. i found myself longing for the asexual germans this week. now there’s a sentence i never thought i would type! oh and i almost forgot the best part of all. when i returned to my new pied-a-terre, very shaken, my front door was ajar!!!! i considered checking into a hotel for the night, but instead, with my mom on the phone, bravely flung open the storage closet and fridge — the only two hiding places in my studio apartment. for once, i was ecstatic to find a refrigerator empty. so i live to see anotha day…and have a couple of much-needed drinks. within walking distance, bien sur. bonne nuit, bebes! and may the parisian perv go the way of the beeper. shucked from modern society once and for all!

  7. Tuesday, January 17, 2012

    well i’ve managed to move on…up! buh-bye budget hotel in the 13th. bonjour saint germain! ok, now i really may never leave. tonight, i walked the rues in my new hood and combined my two loves — impromptu photo shoots and street art. thanks to a couple of strangers on the street. one who did the clickin. and the other who did the primpin. and neither of whom took off with my i-touch. thank gawd! altho they did warn me to keep a better eye on my things. if only they knew…last week, a housekeeper returned my most prized possession, my grandmother’s ring, which i inexplicably forgot in my room upon checkout. and yesterday, i found my gloves. right where i left them the night before. “you’re lucky,” said the barman. understatement of the year.
ah, the eiffel has shut off its lights for the night, so perhaps so should i. yup, i got a room with a view…i hate me, too. g’nite bebes!

    well i’ve managed to move on…up! buh-bye budget hotel in the 13th. bonjour saint germain! ok, now i really may never leave. tonight, i walked the rues in my new hood and combined my two loves — impromptu photo shoots and street art. thanks to a couple of strangers on the street. one who did the clickin. and the other who did the primpin. and neither of whom took off with my i-touch. thank gawd! altho they did warn me to keep a better eye on my things. if only they knew…last week, a housekeeper returned my most prized possession, my grandmother’s ring, which i inexplicably forgot in my room upon checkout. and yesterday, i found my gloves. right where i left them the night before. “you’re lucky,” said the barman. understatement of the year.

    ah, the eiffel has shut off its lights for the night, so perhaps so should i. yup, i got a room with a view…i hate me, too. g’nite bebes!